Bernie Ecclestone Cuts Electricity on North American Continent after Prank Telephone Call London, England. Bernie Ecclestone announced today that he had instructed the electricity in Canada and the east coast of the United States to be cut off, after he was the victim of a prank call by a Canadian radio station. The radio station contacted Ecclestone, leading the F1 supremo to believe he was talking to Canada's Prime Minister Jean Chretien following the announcement of Canadian Grand Prix's organizers that the race would be dropped in 2004. "It was a difficult decision to make," said Mr. Ecclestone to a group of highly tense and frightened reporters. "But it had to be done, not because of me but for the benefit of the sport." This year's blackout was, according to experts, not as serious as the 1977 electrical cut that was caused by a United States FIA delegate accidentally spilling coffee on Ecclestone's newly pressed pants.
The German Grand Prix Photo Review "Exhausted and out of breath" The Red Bull energy drink company announced after the German Grand Prix that it had terminated its sponsorship agreement with Renault driver Jarno Trulli. "Free agent for 2005" In spite of persistent rumours to the contrary, Juan Pablo Montoya - here pictured in front of his personal garage - maintained that he had definitely not signed with McLaren Mercedes for 2005.		SIDEBAR N. Haug Holds out "Switch" pit board to Montoya during German GP B. Wirdheim To test for Jordan GP, told to bring own petrol Sir Terry Rowduck "Championship title excitement? Hardly! I remember in 1957 we had 30 drivers equal with nil points before the first round! Now that's excitement!" M. Mosley Mysteriously stays away from Renault's garage
Ralf Schumacher Escapes! Serial Start line Crasher Caught after Wild Chase Budapest, Hungary. Formula One driver Ralf Schumacher managed earlier today to break free from custody and escape just before a verdict was about to be announced in his German GP start line accident case. According to witnesses, Ralf jumped out of a courthouse window, hotwired a car outside the building and headed out onto the highway, guns blazing. Luckily, though, Ralf was stalled on the 5-lane highway a few minutes later by an elderly lady driving a Toyota Corolla, which Schumacher was unable to overtake in spite of repeated attempts - allowing FIA officials to catch up. A BMW spokesperson said after the arrest that although they were disappointed in their driver's capture, the company was encouraged by Ralf's pace when fleeing.   "Ooh! You've got a deal!" says pesky Jordan Parrot Jordan fires office parrot "Polly" after huge legal bill Eddie and his office parrot in better days Silverstone, England. In a scene described by onlookers as tragic, Jordan Grand Prix team owner Eddie Jordan fired his longtime companion and office parrot Polly, after the feathered critter caused a major misunderstanding in sponsorship discussions. The bird's input into sensitive contract negotiations with mobile phone giant Vodafone caused a costly lawsuit by the fledgling Formula One team. According to court transcripts, on the 22 of March 2001 a Vodafone executive telephoned Eddie Jordan and spoke to him on a loudspeaker telephone in the presence of Mr. Ian Phillips and Polly the Parrot. The Vodafone executive informed Mr. Jordan that Vodafone would sponsor Jordan for the three Grand Prix seasons, between 2002 and 2004. According to Jordan, the Vodafone executive is supposed to have told Jordan and Phillips that "Ooh! You've got a deal" and "Ooh! He wanted a biscuit." Polly was not available for comment, but wanted a cracker.

About the author:
Reginald Kincaid was born on 30th November 1912. Following graduation from the Royal Military College in Sandhurst he was commissioned in the Forth Hussars in February 1931. While stationed in Egypt with his brigade in 1934, he led the famous "Elgar" high speed camel expeditions that explored and documented the vast sand seas of Libya. In his own words he soon after became addicted to the "fine art of travelling fast" but exchanged camels for cars. Kincaid's exploits in European motor racing became legendary after being documented in his best selling biography "Racing with a stiff upper lip". Reginald Kincaid retired in 1991 and has been covering motor racing ever since. He now lives in Surrey, England, and tends to his hobby of beekeeping.