In this week's issue:

• Gearing Up for BMW's 330 Sport Coupe
• Grenade-Proof Cars in Demand as Insecurity Grows

  Gearing Up for BMW's 330 Sport Coupe

If you are yet to be recruited into the BMW Corps - the massed infantry of willing volunteers who have signed up for whichever BMW model they can afford - chances are you're filed among one of two alternative ranks.

Those who cannot actually afford a BMW or, more specifically cannot afford the BMW they want, or you are someone who is not necessarily constrained by financial issues but simply wish to make a different statement. Perhaps you would choose an Alfa 156 instead of a 3 Series, ignore the X5 in favour of a Volvo X90 or prefer the Honda S2000 to a Z3/Z4.

Personally, I fall into both categories. If I had the cash, I'd order an M3 tomorrow but I haven't and that's that. The truncated form of a 318 Compact on my driveway would only serve as a daily reminder that, like the Compact itself, I was coming up short. And from the ridiculous to the sublime, if I were a corpulent plutocrat, I would despatch a junior exec to my nearest dealer to order a fully laden, long wheelbase 760i, if only because everyone else thinks it's ugly and so individuality would be guaranteed.

Then again, the satisfaction of not falling into line behind the hordes of seemingly brainwashed 3 and 5 Series drivers is reason enough not to run out to the nearest dealer. Or seems to be, until the next time I drive a BMW, at which point it becomes clear (once again) that resistance is futile. Whether you have £16,000 or £60,000 to spend, there is a BMW to suit and your choice, be it Compact or very big, will go, look and feel just right. Why would you choose anything else? It's unlikely to be as good and impossible that it could be better, so what's the point?

See, brainwashed. But it's so difficult not to be. Only xenophobic resistance, fiscal deficiency or obstinate individuality can prevent you succumbing. And anyone who says different is a liar (or a Mercedes driver).

Seduced by Speed

The 330 Ci Sport Coupe SSG is a case in point. Bit of a mouthful but the real point of interest is the SSG part. The 330 Sport Coupe is the fastest 3 Series on the road save for the exotic M3. The familiar two door lines clothe a three-litre version of BMW's 24-valve straight six engine and its 231bhp will power the 330 to an electronically governed 155mph, passing 60mph in 6.5 seconds along the way. Legally pointless but impressive all the same and a full 10 grand cheaper than the M3 (which is only marginally faster but massively thirstier). The rear-wheel drive chassis, as ever, is taut, responsive and balanced, with only an unusual vagueness about the steering to hinder an otherwise perfect sporting set-up.

All of which is only to be expected, but this 330 has an extra box of tricks - a gearbox full of tricks to be precise. SSG stands for Sequential Sports Gearbox, a £960 option based on the £2,100 SMG system developed for the M3. It is a shift-by-wire semi-automatic (or automated manual) gearbox with a sequential pattern, as opposed to the traditional five-speed H-pattern manual gearbox. The technology has its roots in racing where speed of change counts double. However, racing provenance is slowly transferring to road cars. Alfa Romeo, Audi and Porsche are among those who also offer models with equivalent systems.

And there are clear benefits to be found, including the removal of the need for a clutch pedal. The shift-by-wire technology enables the driver to send computer-controlled signals to the gearbox and the electro-mechanicals take care of the rest. On the BMW these 'messages' are communicated in one of three ways.

The first, and by far the least satisfying, is with the car set in C (for cruise), a fully automatic mode. Even BMW themselves acknowledge that this setting is no substitute for a genuine automatic gearbox (nor is it meant to be) and the lack of a torque converter to smooth out shifts is more than noticeable. In practice, C is for 'clumsy' and this setting is actually quite disconcerting.

But this setting is not the reason why someone would pay almost £1000 over list price to replace the car's standard manual gearbox. The alternative is to put the 330 into manual mode and then take your pick of how to input those clutch-less shift instructions. The (almost) traditional centre console mounted gear lever is option one and allows drivers to shift up by pulling back on the lever and down by pushing forward. It quickly becomes second nature and the swifter, shorter, cleaner action brings its own rewards.

Ultimately however, it is the steering-column mounted 'paddles' that will appeal to anyone willing to spend the extra money on the SSG system. This is the option that allows the most romantic of us to suspend reality and transport ourselves on to the grid of an F1 race. In actual fact, the SSG paddle controls differ from F1 or even the M3 SMG system and have more in common with current WRC rally cars. F1 drivers have one paddle for up shifting and another for down shifting whereas the SSG has a push/pull action on both sides of the steering wheel - push away for down and pull towards you for up.

The experience is initially a little alien but quickly becomes 'the norm' and is surely set to replace traditional 'stick shift' over the next decade. It is possible to effect rapid, smooth up-changes through the five-speed gearbox, gentle lifts of the throttle serving to smooth out the process even further. The computer automatically 'blips' the throttle on down-changes, matching the engine revs to road speed and the sensation of racing greatness is even fleetingly palpable.

The shift from first to second is the only real hiccup but it soon becomes apparent that first is little more than a launch gear and most low-speed trundling can be happily undertaken in second. Needless to say, the SSG software also has in-built nanny electronics to ensure you can't discover what fifth-to-first-at-70mph feels like and the same programming will also snick down the gears on your behalf as you slow for a junction, should you forget or not feel in the mood. At standstill the system takes over and selects first automatically.

All in all, the gearbox works well and is very satisfying to use. The SSG system is not as lightning fast as the SMG version but nor is it so unruly, although an additional Sport setting does speed things up should you feel so inclined. The paddle-shift option remains perfectly user-friendly when your own personal mode isn't set to sport, and in town, second and third are almost the only gears you need. With neither a clutch nor the need to take your hands from the wheel, the chore of traditional manual gearboxes is removed, and only the positioning of the paddles themselves left any cause for complaint. They never quite felt 100% perfectly situated.

The 330 SMG returns identical economy and emissions figures to its manual sibling and at 31mpg and 218 g/KM respectively, this impressive car becomes ever more appealing. With a base price of £29,920 (plus the extra £960 for the gearbox) it is no bargain but it is perhaps the perfect model to resolve the conundrum of whether or not to choose a BMW. Although not for me you understand. My decision remains primarily influenced by fiscal deficiency.

  Grenade-Proof Cars in Demand

A looming war in Iraq is bad news for most automakers - unless the car you are trying to sell can withstand armour-piercing bullets, grenade blasts and gas attacks.

In a sealed room at the back of BMW's stand at the Geneva auto show, potential buyers were shown around what looks like a standard 7-series executive saloon, distinguishable only to the trained eye by its toughened glass and wider tyres. The car is the latest offering in the exclusive but growing high security market, whose customers are mostly government officials, high-ranking industrialists and pop stars.

German security officials have rated the car "B6/B7", meaning the vehicle can withstand fire from weapons as powerful as an M16 or Kalashnikov AK47 rifle.

"The ballistic testing is done by the state ballistics department, and then the German Federal Crime Office do their own tests," Michael Gallmann, head of international sales for BMW security cars, told Reuters in an interview.

As the sound of a 7-series being shaken but not destroyed by a 15 kilogram bomb emanates from a television set across the room, Gallmann explains that the car can travel at 80 kph (50 mph) if its tyres are burst by rifle fire, and withstand the detonation of two hand grenades under the driver and rear passenger seats.

Drivers of a particularly nervous disposition can start the engine by remote control before they get in to ensure no explosives are wired up to the ignition, while in the event of a tear gas attack the cabin is hermetically sealed and its passengers supplied with oxygen.

Growing Market

Industry executives say the market for B6/B7-graded cars is probably less than 500 vehicles a year, although as the survival of many of its customers depends on discretion, it is a segment shrouded in secrecy, with no official sales figures.

BMW has been producing high security cars for over 30 years, but rival Mercedes, a unit of DaimlerChrysler which builds a B6/B7-graded version of its S-Class saloon, can boast of being one of the first to armour plate its cars.

"We started making armoured cars in the 1920s. Our first customer was Emperor Hirohito of Japan," said Roland Folger, head of the "Mercedes-Benz Guard" armoured vehicle division. He said the biggest markets for the cars were Brazil, Mexico, Russia and western European governments.

Britain's Land Rover, now a member of Ford's Premier Automotive Group which has long supplied armies around the world with beefed-up versions of its Defender off-roader, recently launched a B6-level spin-off of its luxury Range Rover.

"PAG has decided this is a market we are going to get into properly," said Nick Youdan, global armoured vehicle sales manager for Land Rover and fellow PAG brand Jaguar. "It's a market that has been dominated by BMW and Mercedes in recent years."

Land Rover is aiming to sell between 30 and 50 B6 Range Rovers this year and is working on a B7 version. The sense of security from being sealed in a grenade-proof shell does not come cheap.

A basic B6 Range Rover comes with a price tag of 165,000 pounds, while Mercedes will relieve you of around an extra 300,000 euros on top of the list price to equip an S-Class to B6/B7 standard. BMW and Mercedes also offer B4 versions of their smaller saloons, designed to withstand calibre .44 magnum revolver ammunition.

"It's not that there's a massive panic but the world isn't getting any safer," Youdan said, adding that Jaguar too would soon be launching a B6 version of its new XJ saloon.